I Am Absolutely Sure

Most days I have a long fuse. My last trip to the library was not one of them.

Is anyone else out there like me? After a handful of days things that normally belong somewhere else, to someone else, or parts of something else seem to become a part of the landscape of the room, counter, table...

The books-and-movies-for-free thing is great. It is just too long. You see, if I have a book for a week or two or if I have a movie for a night or two I have no problem at all remembering to return it. I have been burned many times by owing fines to the library, so I am now particularly vigilant about returning our library materials.

Enter Irony.

Feeling somewhat proud of myself for remembering ALL of our books and ALL of our movies and ON TIME, (I know that they were all there because I counted the books as I dropped them individually into the slot--I also counted the DVDs-- even opening them to be sure that each one actually had a DVD in it. Been there, done that) I started to check out our family's latest haul.

Sarcastic Checkout Clerk: Are you planning on returning Aristocats?

~long fuse, instantly gone. spark, flame, ignition.~

Irritated Aurora: I returned it. (aside to cringing daughter) I knew this would happen.

Them: Maybe you thought you returned it.

Me: Nope. I have done that before. This is NOT one of those times. I am absolutely sure. You see, I counted the books. And the DVDs. I even checked them all. Twice. I returned it.

~clerk checks the back at my insistence. Nothing.~

Me: Well, now what? I returned it.

Them: We can flag it so that you won't have a fine and it will give you a few weeks to go home and see if it is there.

Me: Or for you to find it here since I returned it!

Going home. Indignant. Frustrated at the sarcastic clerk, the stupid library system, the world in general. Spewing frustration at my 16-year-old who keeps telling me to "chill." Honey, with these raging hormones... I WISH!!

Me: (to 14-year-old who was not at the library): Blah blah, jerk, blah blah, typical, blah blah, I am absolutely sure...!

14-year-old (warily pulling DVD out from beside the TV): Is this it?

Me: Ack!!